He's heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere !!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
6/8/16
1/20/15
Ways I relax (PICS)
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Ain't Life a stressful trip! Well I hate stress; and bona fide stressors like babies, drama queens, women motorists trying to parallel park, idiots who take +16 items to the "10 Item" register, court TV, paramilitary pigs, loud headphones.
Of the many things I try to do to fight back the blues or rage are to enjoy some ice cream or chocolate; take a long, aimless walk; watch comedy; or porn.
read
watch the sunset
pause and take in the beautiful surroundings
exercise
or a massage; and what better way to have a massage than with the ocean breeze -- that is, when either Saucy or Tootsie Pop ain't around? (You can guess how she got the name. Hello!)
Or a happy ending to the day...in whatever way it comes.
Ain't Life a stressful trip! Well I hate stress; and bona fide stressors like babies, drama queens, women motorists trying to parallel park, idiots who take +16 items to the "10 Item" register, court TV, paramilitary pigs, loud headphones.
Of the many things I try to do to fight back the blues or rage are to enjoy some ice cream or chocolate; take a long, aimless walk; watch comedy; or porn.
read
this book made me suspicious to UK Border Patrol
write
watch the sunset
exercise
or a massage; and what better way to have a massage than with the ocean breeze -- that is, when either Saucy or Tootsie Pop ain't around? (You can guess how she got the name. Hello!)
Or a happy ending to the day...in whatever way it comes.
1/4/15
Gifts from the heart
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My Christmas gift to me
& my New Year's gift to me
...because sometimes you just can't wait for others to do nice shit for you.
I admit, I cheated with both. They were carefully packed and set aside but, oh well, I do likes to have my cake and eat it too. Robby Robinson's memoir was supposed to be my New Year's gift but after meeting him in person and touching on a few topics I couldn't hold off on cracking open the cover and reading what he had to share about his trials with Weider et al. as well as experiences in Europe. I paced myself so that The Black Prince still wound up being my first book of 2015.
In regards to the Kentucky bourbon, well my downstair neighbor and her babies expedited that appointment with Jim Beam. If there was ever an elixir the doctor ordered! I can understand why some men turn to the bottle. This was my first time tasting the Black style. I'm partial to the original recipe (white label) but, having already tasted the Honey one, I wanted to try this new double-aged brew. Not bad; honestly, though, under the circumstances, it could've been black&blue for all I cared because - hello! - I needed me an early sip or two.
My Christmas gift to me
it's personally signed!
& my New Year's gift to me
...because sometimes you just can't wait for others to do nice shit for you.
I admit, I cheated with both. They were carefully packed and set aside but, oh well, I do likes to have my cake and eat it too. Robby Robinson's memoir was supposed to be my New Year's gift but after meeting him in person and touching on a few topics I couldn't hold off on cracking open the cover and reading what he had to share about his trials with Weider et al. as well as experiences in Europe. I paced myself so that The Black Prince still wound up being my first book of 2015.
In regards to the Kentucky bourbon, well my downstair neighbor and her babies expedited that appointment with Jim Beam. If there was ever an elixir the doctor ordered! I can understand why some men turn to the bottle. This was my first time tasting the Black style. I'm partial to the original recipe (white label) but, having already tasted the Honey one, I wanted to try this new double-aged brew. Not bad; honestly, though, under the circumstances, it could've been black&blue for all I cared because - hello! - I needed me an early sip or two.
12/26/14
Know the significance of FHRITP ?
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Because I don't own a television (haven't in years!) and it's rare occasion when I have chance to watch one (e.g., staying in a hotel room. I'm not geeky enough to watch TV via my computer) I missed this year's phenomenon of FHRITP. Didn't learn about it until just this very moment when I stopped by Brobible.com to read a piece by Managing Editor, J. Camm, whilst eating my post-workout meal...and thought I'd share it with you.
The acronym doesn't do it justice. It's not cooly independent like NASA or SCUBA or NAACP. Yet, it is simply one of those wondrous and incredible catchphrases of modern times which simply must - must - be articulated in full. I would love to break it down to you but, no, it is more worthwhile when you see it for yourself. Without further ado I give you the meaning behind FHRITP:
Because I don't own a television (haven't in years!) and it's rare occasion when I have chance to watch one (e.g., staying in a hotel room. I'm not geeky enough to watch TV via my computer) I missed this year's phenomenon of FHRITP. Didn't learn about it until just this very moment when I stopped by Brobible.com to read a piece by Managing Editor, J. Camm, whilst eating my post-workout meal...and thought I'd share it with you.
The acronym doesn't do it justice. It's not cooly independent like NASA or SCUBA or NAACP. Yet, it is simply one of those wondrous and incredible catchphrases of modern times which simply must - must - be articulated in full. I would love to break it down to you but, no, it is more worthwhile when you see it for yourself. Without further ado I give you the meaning behind FHRITP:
12/24/14
While shopping at Wal-Mart
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While shopping at Wal-Mart (or is it Walmart, now?) this holiday season I came across this gluttonous concoction.
While shopping at Wal-Mart (or is it Walmart, now?) this holiday season I came across this gluttonous concoction.
check out the other product I saw on Wal-Mart shelvesYou all know how much I dig sweets. I like bacon, I like maple syrup, and I like homemade cookies (especially when they're a lil burnt round the edges and crunchy,crunchy) but no - hella no - am I curious to eat maple bacon cookies or frosting. That sounds like a good Canadian joke, if anything. Yo, Betty C., what's next: a stuffed turkey pound cake and gravy flavored egg nog??
just be thankful
it's limited edition
it's limited edition
8/1/14
7/21/14
More snapshots of Mr Tijuana contest
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not very 'athletic' poses...but who's complaining? the more butts, the better
To all our members: We invite you to the upcoming Mr Tijuana event where our competitor, Powers Tilden, will represent our gym. Come out and support! We look forward to seeing you there!!
the arrow shows the^ oblique muscle.
commonly hidden by fat people's
'love handles'
'love handles'
blue got a big ol butt
it was a colorful evening
trophy in the image of Zeus
7/14/14
Anne Lamott
On that note, might I interest you in one of my lovely books listed on the left-hand side of the screen? Your other left hand. I certainly haven't written warmly of people who have pissed me off. Hello!
5/27/14
Gun play
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I wrote on this months ago upon seeing a massive billboard in Berlin for the latest installment to the Grand Theft Auto video game but I guess if it doesn't come from TMZ or Washington Post or FOX News, then it doesn't matter.
I wrote on this months ago upon seeing a massive billboard in Berlin for the latest installment to the Grand Theft Auto video game but I guess if it doesn't come from TMZ or Washington Post or FOX News, then it doesn't matter.
5/13/14
Obama on foreign policy
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Even I've traveled the world enough to know more than this guy on foreign affairs -- and most of Congress, too, many of whom still don't possess a passport!
Even I've traveled the world enough to know more than this guy on foreign affairs -- and most of Congress, too, many of whom still don't possess a passport!
4/10/14
Spring Break expose (VIDEO)
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If you have ever been to Spring Break, then you might enjoy this expose presented by Sean Hannity via Jon Stewart:
If you have ever been to Spring Break, then you might enjoy this expose presented by Sean Hannity via Jon Stewart:
(VIDEO)
1/8/14
Librarian: Clean yo ass!
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I found the following note left behind in the Westwood Public Library in Los Angeles:
I found the following note left behind in the Westwood Public Library in Los Angeles:
12/21/13
Old time advice to bodybuilders
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I found this "tip" in an old Mexican muscle magazine called Muscle Power (1980, #453). Not sure if they are still in publication. I like to collect these things because the information was no-nonsense and inspiring, and the images, far more natural id est healthy.
Some bodybuilders of note use short sleeve tight ass shirts to "inflate themselves in order to appear (more)impressive to people as they walk down the street. To this absurdity one should not miss his chance to point out just how ridiculous are these "vanity athletes" (literal translation: athletes of the mirror).Be a real sportsman. Not a #@%! exhibitionist!
I see clowns like these all the time, especially in Spanish- and Italian-speaking locales. They buy a shirt two sizes too small and fool themselves into thinking they're big men. It's gotten worse now as (gay-friendly)designers cut their menswear smaller and smaller to accommodate male egos that have gotten fragiler and fragiler.
Case in point:
11/1/13
What would the Gipper do?
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Mr Gorbachev, check out these arms!
Mr Gorbachev, check out these arms!
Day 2 of gym
(following 10 month weight-training sabbatical)
8/27/13
Rude German lady on the bus
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In my politest German I asked a lady on the bus the cost of regular bus fare?
"Ask the bus driver," she replied. "It's his job, not mine!"
What?!
I ditched the foreign language and pointed out the obvious in English: He's driving and I don't want to distract him; especially as we had just entered a tunnel.
So I stood near the front waiting for the tunnel to end and to have a chance to speak with the driver (I boarded the bus from the side door) but then I realized the next stop would be mine so I thought, Screw it.
Before leaving, though, I turned to the ornery jefa and said, "Y'know what: that's why nobody likes German women. You're mean and sure as hell ain't sexy!
She made a sound that implied, Well I never!
On that we could both agree.
In my politest German I asked a lady on the bus the cost of regular bus fare?
"Ask the bus driver," she replied. "It's his job, not mine!"
What?!
I ditched the foreign language and pointed out the obvious in English: He's driving and I don't want to distract him; especially as we had just entered a tunnel.
So I stood near the front waiting for the tunnel to end and to have a chance to speak with the driver (I boarded the bus from the side door) but then I realized the next stop would be mine so I thought, Screw it.
Before leaving, though, I turned to the ornery jefa and said, "Y'know what: that's why nobody likes German women. You're mean and sure as hell ain't sexy!
She made a sound that implied, Well I never!
On that we could both agree.
8/5/13
Dorset, Minnesota has a baby mayor
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I've never been to Dorset but it's tiny mayor sounds like my kind of guy: ice cream, fishing, taking long walks.
I love to eat ice cream. I eat it all over the world! I hate fishing but, hey, two out of three ain't bad.
Read how this real town wound up with a mayor who is all of four years old -- literally.
I've never been to Dorset but it's tiny mayor sounds like my kind of guy: ice cream, fishing, taking long walks.
I love to eat ice cream. I eat it all over the world! I hate fishing but, hey, two out of three ain't bad.
Read how this real town wound up with a mayor who is all of four years old -- literally.
my favorite food
7/29/13
Cooling off at public pool in Stuttgart
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While in Stuttgart I went to the public pool. Unlike the earlier post about the lake in Berlin, we had to pay an entrance fee of 4.50euros. It's sort of like a water park...just without all the slides and pool toys and unnecessary animation. And, unlike American water parks, the prices at the concession stands were very, very reasonable. The cost of French fries or Fanta (Germans love the stuff!) or hot dogs or ice creams were not jacked up at all. On the street an order of fries might cost 1.50 and at the pool it cost 2.50. Reasonable.
I think the pool was longer than Olympic size and, oh yeah, the views were gorgeous too!
While in Stuttgart I went to the public pool. Unlike the earlier post about the lake in Berlin, we had to pay an entrance fee of 4.50euros. It's sort of like a water park...just without all the slides and pool toys and unnecessary animation. And, unlike American water parks, the prices at the concession stands were very, very reasonable. The cost of French fries or Fanta (Germans love the stuff!) or hot dogs or ice creams were not jacked up at all. On the street an order of fries might cost 1.50 and at the pool it cost 2.50. Reasonable.
I think the pool was longer than Olympic size and, oh yeah, the views were gorgeous too!
cakes from the side
cakes from behind
plenty of visions to leave a man blind
7/26/13
Hollywood, California (PICS)
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...Because there is also a Hollywood, Florida (so if you didn't know, then now you know).
...Because there is also a Hollywood, Florida (so if you didn't know, then now you know).
ain't all what it's
cracked up to be, folks
the famous museum of incredible stuff!
and under the Pacific in...2018?
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