Why I ALWAYS prefer joining small gyms

I prefer my gyms small, unfancy, unqueer; hardcore, even barebones. In a word, old school. My reasons for this being I believe such unincorporated businesses better offer:

• ease of paying dues 
• ease of working-out (without one needing to operate computer screens or encounter the ubiquitous television sets or child daycare), and 
• not having to deal with the drama of fashionistas and musclebound homosexuals. 

Here's cash, where's my membership card? 
Easy breezy. What's more apple pie than that! The concept is too, too simple: I pay to use the facilities. If I don't pay, I cannot use the facilities. And, most importantly, if I don't use the facilities, then I don't keep paying. Did you catch that? 
Unlike this lady: 

"Cancelled my membership & they sent a Debt Collector after me"

Therein the last part is where the script has been flipped with shysters requiring patrons (foolishly)sign contracts linked to money accounts wherein they, the gym, effects automatic renewals ad infinitum. 

Such gyms couldn't care less about 'memberships'; it's the flow of money they are after. Then again, some gym goers couldn't care less about getting in shape either. After all, it's the exclusive 'scene' they're after.  

old school

 

mock old school

real old school

too damn old school !