My first Oktoberfest (Munich)

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Was going through my writings when I discovered the following post was sitting in the Draft folder still un-published! On top of that it's a "timely" piece: about my first trip to Munich two years ago last week:


I visited Munich only because I was travelling up from Austria. It was mere coincidence that my arrival was during the famous Oktoberfest (which is actually held in late September. Go figure) and I thought, Oh this should be something!

stupid shit seen at Oktoberfest

stupid shit not seen at Oktoberfest

Oktoberfest is great -- if you like your drunks alive, loud and sausaged in lederhosens. Me? I prefer drunks quiet, dead, and maturely dressed. Everywhere the head swiveled the eyes - and ears and nose - encountered merry drunkards who looked like rosy cheeked escapees from a woodcutting work camp. And where there were gaps there were plenty of equally bad dressed American and Australian tourists who gladly acted fools. As I sat in Burger King soaking up the free wi-fi some New Jersey assholes shouted AND sang cheers for the New Jersey Jets. Classless.


Their girlfriends just laughed along. Any social studies course that posits females are selective about their mates for the logical reasons of protection, stability, breeding prowess is full of shit; namely because females dig jerks (lifelong projects) and, therefore, are not logical creatures.

I was in Munich for less than one day and was 'randomly' stopped by two pairs of pigs on the grounds of "border control"

Onwards. My impression of Munich is also smeared by the racism of its detectives. At least, they posed as undercover agents. (This presented a real problem to me for how am I supposed to know an undercover pig from a con man posing as an undercover pig? A very popular scam in Latin America and there is no reason to think it does not happen here.)
I was in Munich for less than one day and was 'randomly' stopped by two pairs of pigs on the grounds of border control. The EU has no borders.
But as all the white and liberal and educated, homosexual-friendly people tell me: There is no more racism.